Today, I am at a stage in my life where I am trying to find my feet again.
4.5 years ago I was given an opportunity. And as I reflect back on it now, I realise that I didn’t make the most of that opportunity; and now I’m left with a bitter taste in my mouth.
A bitter taste of regret.
Feel sad, repentant or disappointed over (something that one has or failed to do).
That ‘opportunity‘ pill is sure hard to swallow with that tall glass of ‘regret‘ on ice, sitting on that coaster called ‘life‘.
When you know you messed up and now you just have to pick up the pieces and start again. And you’re trying to stay positive when you’re really just miserable.
Well, I guess I can sit here and just keep being miserable; and blame myself and others; and do nothing new tomorrow to change. But I won’t.
You know why? Because tomorrow is a new day to be better than I was today! If I tell my son that, I should probably live up to it and follow my own ‘words of wisdom‘ (so they call it).
I don’t like to talk too much ‘crap’ and not actually come through with the goods. So I don’t want to say too much right now – But I know what I’m thinking when say this and this is only a personal goal I’ll keep between my family. But as of right now, I will train my mind & body for this new career that I just recently discovered I want to pursue. And the hardest part about this “challenge” is that it’s practically impossible for me to get into, because:
– I’m 34 and I’m getting a little on the ‘old’ side to be starting a new career;
– I’m nowhere near fit enough to do the physical aspects of the role (as much as I like to flex my guns) and I have an ankle injury that may not pass the medical assessment;
– They only accept about 120 people out of 7000 applications which is like 1%; and
– People re-apply annually and still haven’t made it in (according to posts I read on Facebook).
But despite the odds, I am going to try anyway. Because for me it ticks all the boxes of a rewarding career. A workplace I could happily go to each day and when I come home, I would be proud! If you can guess it based on the above, I bow down to you. But until I’ve made it in, I won’t tell a soul. For people will just find a way to shoot me down and tell me I can’t do it. And frankly – I don’t want any more negativity in my life! So if you’re gonna be a negative Nancy, you can just stop reading now!
So the beginning of 2017 was kinda up and down. It certainly had its highlights:
With an old friend Ken (introduced in the previous post ironically called ‘Introducing the Sun Chasers’) coming to Australia for a few months and bringing back some crazy adventures into our lives. And this is just his kind of humour… as we stroll through Bombo Headlands looking for a particular ‘rock’.
My nephew Enzo was born and brought some much needed happiness into our lives and on the other end of the birthdays, my mum turned the ripe old age of 75.
With a slow-healing sprained left ankle (from my soccer injury last year), I still managed to conquer the flying trapeze! Not quite ready to join the circus yet though!
Not an easy one to share with the world, but I saw a shrink to try and sort out my ‘issues‘, because I told myself that in 2017, I was going to be bigger and better than I was in 2016. And it may be 6 months into the year, but I’m not ready to give up on myself just yet! Although I’ve definitely wanted to.
I went skydiving (again) for my birthday! Which used to be my birthday tradition until I became a mum and had to start thinking responsibly. But this delightful surprise from my hubby reinvigorated my goal to become a certified tandem skydiving instructor (number 56 on my #Godlys100Things list).
And as I scrolled through my camera roll, I honestly had no idea how much I’ve done this year. It’s scary to think that 6 months have gone by but I wouldn’t have been able to recall all those moments if I hadn’t taken a photo of them.
And the lowlights of 2017, just aren’t worth a mention. I’d like to end this post on a positive!
So now as my goal for 2017 remains, I now look forward to the next 6 months with a newfound focus! Although unrealistic and very likely unachievable, I will give it my best shot. Because, right now, my career is my next target! Because everything else in my life is doing OK! And I’m happy with OK because there’s always another day to make it better than yesterday!