Category Archives: Parenting

No Regrets


It’s been a while since I last published anything. But I won’t bore you with the details – I’m here now. 

Today, I am at a stage in my life where I am trying to find my feet again.

4.5 years ago I was given an opportunity. And as I reflect back on it now, I realise that I didn’t make the most of that opportunity; and now I’m left with a bitter taste in my mouth. 

A bitter taste of regret. 

Regret 

verb

Feel sad, repentant or disappointed over (something that one has or failed to do).

That ‘opportunity‘ pill is sure hard to swallow with that tall glass of ‘regret‘ on ice, sitting on that coaster called ‘life‘.

When you know you messed up and now you just have to pick up the pieces and start again. And you’re trying to stay positive when you’re really just miserable

Well, I guess I can sit here and just keep being miserable; and blame myself and others; and do nothing new tomorrow to change. But I won’t. 

You know why? Because tomorrow is a new day to be better than I was today! If I tell my son that, I should probably live up to it and follow my own ‘words of wisdom‘ (so they call it).

I don’t like to talk too much ‘crap’ and not actually come through with the goods. So I don’t want to say too much right now – But I know what I’m thinking when say this and this is only a personal goal I’ll keep between my family. But as of right now, I will train my mind & body for this new career that I just recently discovered I want to pursue. And the hardest part about this “challenge” is that it’s practically impossible for me to get into, because:

– I’m 34 and I’m getting a little on the ‘old’ side to be starting a new career;

– I’m nowhere near fit enough to do the physical aspects of the role (as much as I like to flex my guns) and I have an ankle injury that may not pass the medical assessment;

– They only accept about 120 people out of 7000 applications which is like 1%; and

– People re-apply annually and still haven’t made it in (according to posts I read on Facebook).

But despite the odds, I am going to try anyway. Because for me it ticks all the boxes of a rewarding career. A workplace I could happily go to each day and when I come home, I would be proud! If you can guess it based on the above, I bow down to you. But until I’ve made it in, I won’t tell a soul. For people will just find a way to shoot me down and tell me I can’t do it. And frankly – I don’t want any more negativity in my life! So if you’re gonna be a negative Nancy, you can just stop reading now!

So the beginning of 2017 was kinda up and down. It certainly had its highlights:

With an old friend Ken (introduced in the previous post ironically called ‘Introducing the Sun Chasers’) coming to Australia for a few months and bringing back some crazy adventures into our lives. And this is just his kind of humour… as we stroll through Bombo Headlands looking for a particular ‘rock’.




My nephew Enzo was born and brought some much needed happiness into our lives and on the other end of the birthdays, my mum turned the ripe old age of 75. 





With a slow-healing sprained left ankle (from my soccer injury last year), I still managed to conquer the flying trapeze! Not quite ready to join the circus yet though!


I saw Anh Do re-tell his story “The Happiest Refugee” at the ICC Sydney, with hubby and friends. Anh is such an inspiration to many! This book is a must-read!


Not an easy one to share with the world, but I saw a shrink to try and sort out my ‘issues‘, because I told myself that in 2017, I was going to be bigger and better than I was in 2016. And it may be 6 months into the year, but I’m not ready to give up on myself just yet! Although I’ve definitely wanted to.


I did the Colour Run Night with my family, sister, niece and cousin.


Hubby and I did a couples pottery lesson together!


My son started his own YouTube channel because he watches enough YouTube that he wanted to do his own. See a video of the Colour Run here.


I went skydiving (again) for my birthday! Which used to be my birthday tradition until I became a mum and had to start thinking responsibly. But this delightful surprise from my hubby reinvigorated my goal to become a certified tandem skydiving instructor (number 56 on my #Godlys100Things list).


I saw the Aladdin musical with my son (which was his second musical which is pretty good for a 7 year old). I didn’t see my first musical until I was in my 20’s.


I was finally called for Jury Duty which has been something I’ve always wanted to do (and many others try to avoid) – sadly, I didn’t make the cut. But the e perish even was fun, nonetheless.



We took our first (hopefully the first of many) camping trips as a family, to The Basin Campgrounds.


We bought a new car.


I started yet another new hobby (candle making)… as if I don’t have enough hobbies! And made a few floral arrangements of my own.





And as I scrolled through my camera roll, I honestly had no idea how much I’ve done this year. It’s scary to think that 6 months have gone by but I wouldn’t have been able to recall all those moments if I hadn’t taken a photo of them. 

And the lowlights of 2017, just aren’t worth a mention. I’d like to end this post on a positive!

So now as my goal for 2017 remains, I now look forward to the next 6 months with a newfound focus! Although unrealistic and very likely unachievable, I will give it my best shot. Because, right now, my career is my next target! Because everything else in my life is doing OK! And I’m happy with OK because there’s always another day to make it better than yesterday!


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What brings me back…to this world


I’ve been on a blogging break for so many reasons. I started this blog as my way of speaking up. Sometimes people say shit they can’t back up. Or they talk a lot of crap and I just wanna shut ’em down. But I’m in two minds about causing conflict. So I keep my mouth shut – sometimes. Mainly when the conflict is work-related or if I don’t want to cause trouble (in general). I’m not bad person – although some would think I am. So on this blog, I can pretty much say whatever I want. People say it’s a cowards way of dealing with it. I disagree. I just don’t like conflict. 

Secondly, when it’s my professional brand that’s at stake, I’d rather not risk it for a disagreement with a colleague. 

Also, this blog gives me a chance to put it out to others who may feel the same. To help others – hopefully one reader can get something useful out of this. Whether it’s inspirational or advice. However I’m not qualified to give advice so don’t take my word as gospel. Lol. The irony. I work in the complaints department, and one type of complaint we get is advice-related. 
Bringing me back on topic, the reasons I’ve been on a break was due to the tough year I had. I didn’t feel like blogging when my mindset was wrong. 

I also had some work challenges. 7 March 2016 was the biggest. It will be etched in my mind forever. 

I hadn’t just stopped blogging. I stopped Instagram as well. Like a celebrity in rehab trying to get back to basics. I couldn’t find the inspiration to post photos when my life was so broken. People ‘usually’ tend to only post good photos. People who want to say “Look how good my life is”. But deep down, they’re broken too. Only some will post everything about their lives – good and bad. I know a few. I think it’s TMI. I think social media is great. But be careful what you post. Who your audience is. What your telling them. Sometimes it’s nice to keep something to yourself. So I took myself off the grid (so to speak). I lost connections with those around me. I lost friends (as in friendships and those taken by God). I lost family too. 

This year was a huge wake up call. My estranged father passed away as well. It wasn’t a big deal to me. I knew it was coming. He was 90 years old.  I gave him the cold shoulder and we hadn’t spoken in a decade at least. Some would call me heartless. I had my reasons. No-one needed to understand. Because that was my battle. One I tried to deal with internally. And on my own. One big lesson was – you can’t do alone. We are human. We need each other to survive. We give each other love, compassion, truth and we also hurt each other. His passing made me realise that it wasn’t all his fault. I finally learnt that. But it was too late. I have learned to forgive him for his faults. And to let him rest in peace. I think about him more these days than when he was alive. 


Photo cred: My nephew who came to support me. I didn’t know he took this pic until after the funeral.

I feel like my anthem this year is Forgive me Father (feat. Meaghan Trainor, Wiz Khalifa & Wale) from DJ. Khaled’s Major Key  album. For two reasons. This is one of them. The other reason was for my personal battle and asking God for forgiveness. I particularly love the chorus. 


Like I mean this year started badly. New Year’s Eve was spent in my car angry at my son who had been playing up (partly due to extreme tiredness from the day’s events and partly from his cheeky personality and also the excitement NYE brings). So I kinda knew 2016 was gonna be rough. I’m superstitious like that. The way your year starts, is how it usually goes. 2017 is gonna be fucken awesome! 

I mean, it wasn’t all bad. It was pretty awesome too. But I couldn’t find the thing that made me want to blog again. I was having writers block. I wanted to blog. I just needed it to be meaningful. Today, I posted a photo on snapchat and replicated it on instagram. 

This was my 2016 in a nutshell.

I wrote it on the short 5 minute bus ride to work. And I didn’t think twice. It was just a post on snap. But for instagram (which I like to call my photo album) it was to track my life. For me, it’s not about how many followers or likes the photo gets. I have been off instagram for 6 months. And my last blog post was in Sept 2016. And people were asking. That was nice – To know I brought some value to some people. 

I’ve been focusing on myself this year. Working on my issues. My life. Getting my mojo back. If anyone didn’t understand that, that was their problem. Not mine. Harsh but true. We all have to take time out for ourselves. It’s how we cope. This meant friendships were balancing on a very fine tightrope ready to snap. And it did. I don’t know for sure but I’m pretty certain some friends are gone.

People will come and go. I’ve always believed that people come into our lives for a reason. Sometimes it’s short lived. But there was a reason. 

Sometimes people come and go and will always be there regardless. Whatever they go through – sometimes we share; sometimes we keep things bottled up. But no matter what happens, they will always be there. Because life happens. They are my true friends.

Sometimes people are there for a long time. But not necessarily for the right reasons. Sometimes they are there to help us along our journey. But they’re there for a reason. I’ve lost a few of these friends this year. Kinda just dropped off. I am hurt. But I am also human. I haven’t done this intentionally – life happened and this was the result. I miss them dearly but that’s how the cookie crumbled. 

My horoscope from The Daily Telegraph on 15/12/2016

Then there are friends who are taken away from us too soon. A real tragedy. One that makes me tear up every time. Rest in Peace Juanito. You will be missed. 

The photo I posted (above) attracted some attention. I even got a beautiful heartfelt SMS from my best friend to check if I was ok. Which got me to check my instagram post. As I only go in there intermittently. And I noticed it had 3 comments. Again from people who have inspired me to be the person I am today. Which brings me to my blog post. 

I hope you don’t mind me posting this hon.

A lightbulb moment. It was my sign to get back to blogging, doing what I love and sharing what I do. I don’t speak lies. I do what I say. I won’t always be motivated but I try. I will fall. And I have. But I guarantee, that I will get back up and hustle harder.
Watch this space. I’m back!

Purpose

  
I found my purpose after I started my #Godlys100Things list after that work conference that I had attended that July afternoon, all those years ago.

I wrote a list and to this day I keep working towards ticking things off. I have found that as I work towards ticking them off, that I had things on that list that aren’t exactly what I want anymore. So I either replaced them or kept them as [Thinking of a new thing to replace the old thing]. Because like all lists, they change. And as I work towards these 100 things, I realise that I’ve changed my wants/needs/priorities. In fact, I’ve changed a lot. #DJKhaled

Every day may seem similar but in actual fact, for me, every day something changes in my life. That’s important. To stay the same means not growing. And while I’m physically not growing, I’m growing in all other ways.

At the end of 2015, I made some new goals. I put them up on my ‘Goals Tree’ and wake up to this tree every morning. One of them was to tick 5 things off my 100 things list in 2016. It seems simple enough but if you’ve read my list, you will know that some require a lot of work. Some are easy but that’s not the point. I’m not just going to tick 5 easy ones and wipe my hands clean of any hard work. NO WAY. That’s not my style. 

  
So far, to date, I have ticked:

  1. Number 54: Eat at a Heston Blumenthal restaurant. Dinner by Heston Blumenthal opened in Melbourne and after booking a table in August 2015, the day had finally arrived. We flew to Melbourne to have dinner. I don’t know what was going through my mind but I happened to think that was ok to do that. Like I’m some kind of hot shot food critic that travels to have fine dining experiences. LOL 
  2. Number 72: Learn to drive a manual car. Which ironcally just happened today. 
  3. Number 94: Watch a fight with my husband. This was technically ticked off twice already in 2015, but we’ve enjoyed this so much it’s became almost a tradition. 
  4. Number 95: My husband’s choice: Kill a spider. The reason this was important is because I am petrified of spiders. The word itself gives me the heeby-jeebys. So I had to do this one for myself like my own version of the Tv show ‘Fear Factor’. Again I’ve done this twice now and I seem to be doing ok facing my fear. 

   
  

    
    
 Fear is something we all face. We’re all scared of something. But don’t let fear stop you. Let it drive you to beat it.

So you may be wondering how my purpose is built on silly things like this, but it all boils down to this. When I’m a better version of myself today, I can contribute to a better world tomorrow. Whatever new things I learn today, I feel the need to share it with the world. Because knowledge is power. #MajorKey

I may be one person, but I’m one person who cares enough to want the world to be a better place for the kids of today and the kids of the future.

My son tells me he wants to be a scientist and work with DNA to bring dinosaurs back. Everyone says that’s not possible but I believe he will do great things. And I need to help him along the way to support his dream. If I just nod and smile, how is that helping anyone? 

I don’t know if his dream is possible but I don’t care.

I care that he has a dream and he’s only 6 years old.

I care that he loves dinosaurs so much that he wants to see them again.

I care that he’s deciding his own future by setting his own goals and he’s nailing it. 

That’s the kind of future I want. Kids with big dreams and living life, not by what anyone tells them they can/can’t do, but by what THEY decide they can do.

Follow me on snapchat to see how I choose to live my life daily. I’m also on these social media platforms:

  
Click here to see my #Godlys100Things

Rejection / Resilience

  
Two tough words. Even tougher for a 6 year old to go through. 

My son is 6 going on 10. He’s so mature for his age. Anyone who knows him, would agree. He’s charismatic. Yesterday, I was a super-proud mum. He was nominated as the male student representative council (SRC) rep for his class, along with his female friend. There’s 2 chosen for each class from year 1 through to year 6. I think it’s pretty cool that the school includes students from as young as year 1 to be part of the SRC. It’s a great way to reiterate the values that they have in the school such as responsibility, respect, care, integrity, fairness and cooperation. Almost identical to the values we have in the workplace in this day and age. 

So when I heard he was in the SRC, I thought this meant he was a great example to his peers. 

It’s tough to think that he experienced rejection on the same day he felt proud of himself. But I guess it made it ok because I was there to help him get past it, rather than him going through it alone. 

Here’s a brief rundown on what happened:-

He was in front of his classroom dropping off his bag before the school bell rang.

He saw his friends playing and took a drawing out of his bag and gave it to his friend.

  
His friend took one look and gave it back, saying “why do you draw things for me?!?!” And walked away. 

The look on my son’s face was heartbreaking. I felt his pain. He was gutted. Then he looked at me and said “well, that was a fail.” I told him not to worry and asked him, how will you bounce back from this? 

He didn’t say much and we proceeded to walk to the office to drop off the payment envelope for his school disco.

My boy had experienced rejection at 6 and as much as I wanted to say something to this kid who hurt my son, I also wanted my son to figure out how he was going to get through it on his own. Because I’m certain things like this will happen again and I won’t always be there to help him bounce back. I have to teach him how to be resilient at 6. How do you that when your heart is breaking for them? 

They say if you want the truth, ask a kid. And that’s great but what about when kids do wrong? Is it fair to blame their parent/s? I think so. But some parents are so caught up in their own selves that they don’t see it. They can be in denial – what then? Things like this (and it may seem minor) is what is happening to our kids. The problem with this day and age is that parents are sometimes spending so much time on social media, on their phones and working too much (to name a few) that they forget to be a parent. And I’m guilty of these things too. I’m not perfect. But I will add that I spend a lot of time with my son teaching him about life. 

Strangely, if people see me in the street (and I may snapchat this one day) but they may think I’m being harsh. Or OTT about something that happened. I do this purely to teach my son a lesson. Granted, he may do that exact same thing he did wrong again the very next day but what I will say is that I KNOW that he understands everything I say. He’s just forgetful and at the end of the day, he’s only a child. I can only keep trying. 

He bounced back pretty quickly after this event but it makes you wonder, how does a 6 year old deal with rejection? 

How do they really feel? 

Will this affect them long term?

Is it something he’ll always remember?

I know that when I was rejected by friends at high school, it was tough. But I was about 17 when this happened. And to this day, I’m still scarred. Rejection hurts. But I do hope for his sake, that this doesn’t stick with him and any other kids going through the same thing. I hope it’s temporary but I doubt it. Kids can remember their childhood from about 2.5 years old. So any parent reading this, beware of what your child hears/sees from you and what you do. But better still, be a parent. This kid that emotionally hurt my son clearly has issues. I don’t know what they are but his parents need to teach him a thing or 2 about kindness. My son is a kind soul and drew this because he cared enough about his friend that he wanted to give him something. As meaningless/priceless as a drawing may be, it’s the thought that counts.

Hustle

  
There’s a little theme going on in my blog that I’m noticing. I’ve accidentally been posting about ‘time’ without realising it.

Although this blog started as an outlet for me to voice my opinion on life – writing about anything and everything that I felt at the time. It’s quickly become ‘time’ focussed and I also found it has become somewhat a little novel about me and my journey so far. I’ve come to think of it as my little journal. A little something to leave behind for my son. Hoping one day he’ll read it.

My motivational word for 2016 is HUSTLE. 

Last year was a like a roller coaster ride for me. So much:

  • learnt
  • to remember
  • I wish I could change
  • So much… Everything!

In all of that, I learned that I didn’t do nearly as much as I should have, could have or would have – I wish I had my hustle mentality a year ago. But it’s too late for regrets now. I’ve gotta move on.

So in 2016, everyday I’m hustlin’.

We all lead busy lives. So I thought I’d share my opinion on this important topic of time.

It’s like all the quotes you’ve ever heard all rolled into one:

  • Make time for what you love
  • Stay positive, work hard, make it happen
  • No pain, no gain
  • or just #MotivationalQuotes and you’ll find one you like

So if you want it* enough, you need to work for it. And not just half-heartedly – give it all you’ve got.

*whatever “IT” means to you. e.g. health, wealth, happiness, dream job, family, possessions…

For me, IT means internal happiness. When I have that, everything else falls into place. It has a domino effect on my life.

So, to get my internal happiness, I need my mind and body in the right state. When I feel good physically, I make better choices in life. Better choices makes me happy. Happy me = happy family. Happy family means life is bliss.

So to start my internal happiness I have been getting myself back to a regular fitness schedule. Making time for it. Since Boxing Day, I’ve been tracking my exercise and over the last few days I found myself getting back into my old habits. I’d spent the last few days ‘resting’ instead of doing some form of exercise. So I told myself – “Enough’s enough!!! Just get it done Godly!!”

But it was 9:30pm on a Sunday night and it was getting late. I could have said to myself, just do it tomorrow. But I didn’t. I gave myself a quick internal pep talk and said #NoExcuses. 

I usually train with my friend once a week (at least) and more if our schedule permits. Lately we’ve been doing more due to school holidays because we’re both out of routine. She’s one of the people who inspire me to be more. When people say they have no time, you have to look at people like her who make time. She has 3 kids and still puts her health first. How can someone who has 3 kids still have time? Simple – she makes time.

Another friend told me that “you can’t help anyone else if a plane is going down without your oxygen mask on first. As a fellow mother, I can understand we feel guilty putting ourselves first but we fail to realise that it’s necessary in order to be the best mothers we can be.” Another person who inspires me to be the best mother I can be. 

I know there’s a theme here with mothers making time for the greater good of their family, but I’m certain there are others out there who don’t have kids, or animals, or any other commitments that also make time for themselves. We in the industry call it “me time”.

When you want something bad enough, you’ve gotta learn to hustle.

  1. Make it number 1 on your list.
  2. Set goals so that you have something to strive for.
  3. Keep track so you can see how far you’ve come.

The inspiration behind today’s post was my 25 minute at-home workout. All the excuses in the world could have come out but I chose to overcome them:

  1. I don’t have time – yes I do. It’s just 25 minutes.
  2. I can’t be bothered going for a run, going to the gym, putting on my gym wear etc – then don’t. Stay home and do it in the comfort of your bedroom/garage/lounge room/home gym and in your undies if you want!
  3. It’s late and I have work tomorrow – so what? And besides everyone has to get up for ‘something’ tomorrow. That’s not even a legitimate excuse.
  4. I can’t be bothered and I’m tired – boohoo. Cry me a river.

Truly, all those excuses went through my head tonight but I still got it done.

The hardest thing of all is control. And the hardest thing about control, is controlling our mind. When you have some control over that, you’re halfway there. The only thing left is the action. Most of us fall into the habit of letting our mind tell us things like:

  • I’ll start on Monday.
  • I’m too tired.
  • I’d rather be doing something else.
  • I’m on holidays.
  • I’m just missing 1 day/workout/etc.
  • [insert your own excuses here]

I try to remind myself when I start falling into the excuses trap, is to say to myself “hustle”. But do whatever mantra works for you! The Nike slogan is always a good one! The best part is that when you’ve done whatever it is that you’re making excuses about, you’ll feel so much better afterwards. You’ll be proud of yourself! Guaranteed!

After my workout was done, I was surprised when my son decided to drop and do 10 push ups. I guess he felt the need to do something himself. #Priceless

  

The BEST Ever! Part 4

  
I haven’t been my best lately, as I have been unwell for almost a week. But life must go on. I still had to pick up my son from school so I rolled out of bed, grabbed my keys and left the house in my batman onesie (without thinking twice).

So as I walked to the school, a lot of things crossed my mind:

  • What will others think? 
  • What will the kids at school think? 
  • Will my son be embarrassed?
  • Will being myself have negative repercussions to him at school?
  • Will kids tease him because of my actions? 
  • Am I being selfish by not coming to school like a normal parent?

I realized that it was too late to think about what others would think and instead just think about my own beliefs.

In that moment, I thought only about 2 things:

  1. What matters to me; and
  2. What matters to my son.

What matters to me is that I am being myself. Regardless of what anybody else sees, I am happy to walk the streets in my batman onesie. I am different. But I am me. Wearing this outfit doesn’t mean I am trying to be the centre of attention. It just means I’m confident and comfortable.

Just before I walked to school, I grabbed a coffee to keep warm and my barista asked me “do you get looks wearing that?” Of course I do but I don’t care about what people think. She smiled and said “it’s ok to be different” and I replied “it’s ok to be yourself”.

Secondly, what my son thinks is the most important. When he saw me, he was happy and wanted to hug me. 

As soon as we had a quiet moment to chat, I asked him how he felt about me wearing my onesie to his school. He said happy. Then he said “and a little bit jealous.” I asked why he was happy and jealous. He said he was happy because he loved me. And jealous because he wasn’t wearing his one. #Twinning

I’m not sure he knows the feeling of embarrassment yet so I explained that too. I was worried he felt embarrassed. 

I never really thought about him being teased because of me. It was a selfish move on my part but one I don’t regret because I was able to explain this to my son by leading by example. 

I gave him some examples of things that kids may say to him at school tomorrow because of what they saw today. And I explained how to deal with each example.

We can’t always protect our kids (like when they are at school) but we (as parents) must be there to teach them along the way. I have to show him that he can be whoever he wants to be and to never let any one change him. 

I struggled as a teen to deal with kids who teased and bullied me for being different. To this day, I still remember the feeling when I let these people hurt me. I let them change me because I just wanted to fit in. I won’t let this happen to my son.

The message here is “Don’t change who you are. Instead surround yourself with the people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel!” #SurroundYourself
  
It takes me back to the old saying “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. 

Personally that didn’t ring true for me but I learnt that lesson later in life and now I just need to raise my son to be confident in himself regardless of what the world will say to him. 

Just because someone says something, doesn’t mean it’s true!

You must believe in yourself and be the best ever!

– Godly –

16 July 2015